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How To Get Your Ex Back After Cheating
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You didn’t do it, did Ya? Oh me gad – you did the unthinkable – you cheated on your girlfriend. Seeing as statistics show that it’s more men that cheat on women than the other way round, I am going to assume that if you are reading this, you are a guy.
And you are in big trouble… And you don’t know how to fix it.
You know, I was watching a movie the other night about this guy who is on the verge of getting married to his girlfriend who is 3 months pregnant. And the minute he realizes that this might be the end of his life as he knows it, he starts panicking and when the first pretty face comes along that shows a little bit of interest in him, he cannot help himself. He knows it’s wrong, but he contacts this girl and eventually, they end up kissing. He got caught by his girlfriend because unfortunately on the night that he is with the other girl, a friends father dies, and his girlfriend finds out that he is not with the friend that he said he was going to see.
So, when he gets home she confronts him and he admits that he kissed the girl – 7 times! Of course his girlfriend is po’d with him and she chases him out the house. And what does stupid to – he goes back to the other girl and sleeps with her. Now I ask you – WTF was he thinking? Well, to make a long story short, the girlfriend finds out that he had been sleeping with the other girl but after she made him suffer enough she gives him another chance. He got lucky.
OK, that does not mean that you will be able to get your girlfriend back, but nothing is impossible and there are a few things that you can do to get her back. You just have to realize that this is not going to be easy and that it is going to take while for her to forgive you – if she does.
First of all, if she does not want to talk to you, whatever you do, don’t stalk her. Don’t phone her crying. Don’t send her a kezillion text messages. Don’t go and drink and confront her when you are drunk. Doing any of these things will absolutely nullify your chances of getting her back.
You should give her the space that she needs – and believe me, at this stage she wants to be away from you. All you can do is give her the time she needs to work this out for herself. You can let her know that you are sorry, that you know that she needs time to sort this out and that you are prepared to give her that time. You need to agree with the fact that you need some time away from one another and that you respect that.
Let her know that you will wait until she is ready to talk about it and whatever you do – don’t go and sleep with another girl while you are waiting! Doing something like that will just reinforce for her that you are a cheat and not to be trusted.
During this waiting time you need to be as good as gold as the proverbial saying goes. Keep your nose clean and stay away from temptation. Once she feels that she can talk to you again, arrange to meet her and you can take it from there.
If she decides to take you back, you need to know something else though. It is going to take a long, long time for her to trust you again. She is going to check the mileage on your car, she is going to check up on you when you say you have to work late, she is probably going to follow you to see where you are going. She is going to go through your clothes and look for signs of other women. She is going to search your car for hidden condoms. She is probably going to make your life a living hell for a while. If you really want to get back with her, you are going to have to accept that this is a fact. She has been really hurt with your cheating and you are going to have to pay a price to get her back.
At times it is probably going to feel like Mission Impossible – but if you hang in there it will be worth it.
You are probably also going to need some help knowing exactly what to say and what to do to get her back on your side before she will even look at getting back with you. Sign up for my newsletter for surefire tips to get your ex back.
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24 Responses to “How To Get Your Ex Back After Cheating”
October 14th, 2008 at 7:16 am
Mission Impossible? You are right about one’s live becoming a living hell! I cheated on my girlfriend and since then, she has become unbearable to live with. In the beginning I was really sorry for what I have done, but now things are just getting out of control and I am actually thinking of doing it again because I am being accused of cheating all the time in any case.
Seems you just can win sometimes!
October 18th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Man, you are a loser! You already cheated on the best thing you will ever have and now you are not happy because she is feeling insecure and you are paying the price.
She should boot your ass out the door if you want my humble opinion. You don’t deserve a second chance. Men are sooo stoooopid!
October 21st, 2008 at 1:14 am
I didnt trust my girlfriend in the beginning of our relationship, she lied to me right off the bat.
and I knew she had a past with cheating, but she told me she had gotten high with some friends, i was currently out of town, and i got a phone call later on that night from a guy she was hanging out with and he told me that him and her had just had sex. and i was really pissed off and hurt, i had a friend go and buy me some scotch, and while I was drunk, I slept with a girl, didn’t even finish, but it was out of drunken vindiction.
it was a huge mistake! I should of told her about it, but i didnt, i decided to try to forget about what i had heard about her and the guy and me and the girl. I felt so ashamed of myself. but, i was going to wait until she told me about her having sex with him.
The worst part, as soon as she found out, I told her about me knowing about her and the guy.
She denied it. I admitted to it.
I called the guy up that night, he was a friend of mine.
he said, and I qoute; “Oh nah man, I was drunk, I was just messing with you”.
She has told me since, she never wants to get back with me ever agian. She will barely talk to me right now.
I really, I just don’t know what to do.
October 22nd, 2008 at 7:11 am
Hi Eddie
Well, I don’t quite know what to say to you dude. 1. You did not trust your girlfriend in the first place so you were always going to be looking for some clue that something is going on.
2. You went and slept with some other poor girl because of hearsay about your girlfriend without giving her the benefit of defending herself.
I can understand that she is upset with your ass!
It just shows you that one should never do anything when you have been drinking.
The first thing you should do in mho is to fire your “friend”. Friends who can do things like that are worse than having enemies.
Next – you never trusted this girl so I don’t know if this relationship ever had a chance of survival.
If you are sure that you want her back you are going to have to put in a lot of hard work and there are no guarantees.
I don’t want to push the book but if you are really serious about winning her back you should really try and apply what is in the Magic of Making up.
I wish you luck!
Cassie
December 6th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
dear advisor i just found out my ex cheated on me with one co worker i recently call her up and i told her that im the one to blame for me leaving her house (before i knew what she did ) i thought i was at blame for everything i call her crying 3 weeks after big mistake i know she told me she wanted her space and then i call her 3 days later i call and wanted to hear her voice and tell her im willing to give her space 4 days later again big mistake i text her that i miss her alot i know what im doing now calling her to much i have not talk to her in 2 weeks now beacuse i want to give her space will this this help in any way
December 8th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Hi Brandon
Yes, giving her space will help her clear her head and it might give her time to miss you and realize that she still has feelings for you. You really have to stop hounding her because it will just make her resent you. I know that it is not easy and that it runs against everything you want to do right now. Now that you know that she has cheated on you with a co-worker, how has that affected your feelings for her. Do you really want her back and are you prepared to forget about that if she does? These are all things that you need to figure out before you try to get her back.
I wish you the best of luck.
Cassie
December 10th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
this is my story.
me and girlfriend where dating and this girl named tiffany that kept talking to me and she told me she liked me so i liked the attetion so i kept talking to her for like 1 week and my gf i dont want you to talk to her. so i stoped and warptour came up and my gf said she had to go to a wedding that same day so i was thinkin of who to go with and i went with the girl tiffany..and she kissed me and i kissed back a couple of times.
my gf found out that i talked to her and stuff and people said i kissed her and i denied it to my gf so 4 months i lied to her and i swear to her and i looked her in the eyes and said i didnt kiss her.then this friday came and we where fighting and she looked on my myspace and saw it said. i miss you tiffany and stuff like that then she saw that i said it was worth cheating because we where fighting and i ment it to be it was worth it cuz i got over her, so she didnt talk to me for the whole weekend. i relized i would never do this again and all i went to a psyc and all to prove to her. and on sunday she broke up with me, so i told her what i learned at psy and she says. i want to forget and give but its so hard, ive been around the family and friends that mean close to mean but i fell empty.
i came with my made up at that night but now im having second thoughts and i dont like it.
she told her friends that she loves me still but she give me so many chance and wantes to forget and forgive but it hurts. we are taking a break and im debeting wheather i should go back to him or not. thats all she really said.
what should i do, do you think she will come back or she going to leave me??
December 11th, 2008 at 4:10 am
I broke up with my ex last july…he always accused me of bein with other guys i got sick of it but wanted to get him back so we just talked like same old way for the remainder of the summer…then he started talkin to this new grl when scshool sctarted cuz he heard i was talkin to new guys….so he started datin this grl as a rebound or whatever and he cheats on her with me…after they break up this grl tells me my ex cheated on me 7 months ago and i never even knew…..now he says he really misses going out with me and just had sex with other grls to try n get over me (hes insecure even if he denys it) anyways he really misses me and i can tell…i know i make him very happy but is it a bad idea to get back together?? anyone??
January 28th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Please help me. Last saturday my girlfriend of one year wanted to go to the mall with her friends and then go see my bloody valentine. Instead i took another girl to the same movie, brought this girl to my room, met this girls mother, and had oral sex with this girl, but no sex. This all happened in the span of one day. The girl who i took to the movie was someone who i had been talking to for less than 2 weeks and this was the first time we had went out. I lied to my girlfriend and said the reason why i couldnt go to the movies was because i had to see my aunt in another city. The next day that i saw my g/f she tells me that her and her friends were drinking that night after the movies and they had some people over. And that her and another male watched a movie on her bed and fell asleep, but didnt do anything and they still had their clothes on. I did not say anything about what i had done that same night and i even got mad at her for what she did and made her cry and allowed her to chase me outside in the cold in shorts and no jacket. a couple days later the girl i messed around with comes to my room and describes my room to my g/f and that i met her mom, took her to my bloody valentine and gave her oral sex. the girl also tells my g/f that my penis has a curve in it, which it does. my g/f of one year goes crazy hitting me, breaking things,crying, sobbing, the works. She aks me to tell her the truth but i try to lie to her, her mother, her father, and her friends for three days. i finally admit to my girlfriend three days later that i took the girl to the movies, to my room, and messed around with her but did not have sex. my g/f broke up with and says she needs a week or maybe three weeks to think about whether she wants to get back together with me. i am now losing my mind and my nerves. i have lost my cellphone today and i ran out of gas on the highway coming home from work. i went to my g/f room and begged her on my knees to take me back and that i was sorry. she was smiling, chuckling at me and calling me insane. she then tells me to leave and get out of her room and that if i loved her i would never have cheated on her, telling me to go call the girl that i cheated on her with. she also said that i needed to give her time and that she would call me when shes ready to talk.
what do i do, anybody, somebody, please help me i truly love her and i now see that i may have killed our one year realationship.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Hurting deeply,
you are a lucky man, My ex wont talk to me at all. I am losing myself slowly… I losing weight, smoking more ciggarettes, eating less, crying more, alone always.
If your ex asked for time. i suggest that you go to the gym 3-4 times a week, buy some new clothes, so that when she sees you, you will look like a million bucks. when you speak, dont sob. just keep it normal also, keep it short, first date.. DO NOT TRY TO TAKE HER TO YOUR PLACE… cut it short, and tell her your tired, and you have work early. wait for her to call you next day or 2. then ask to meet again. if she agrees…Im sure you can take it from there. also, be a good boy ok
March 11th, 2009 at 5:09 am
hey everyone,
I’m asking for some advice. I’ve been dating this girl for almost 2 years. We loved each other so much and everything was perfect. She gave me everyting and asked for nothing in return. She’s a foster child and never had much. We had so much in common and always had a good time. Until i made the biggest mistake of my life. I cheated on her in early december. I told her right away the next day. She forgave me, but said she’d never forget. We continued dating for 3 months. Until rumor went around that the girl was pregnant. It wound up being true, but was not from me. She made me try to find out and i never found out. She gave me about 2 weeks to prove it wasn’t mine. She attempte to break up with me a week into it, but took it back 10 mintues later by calling me.She broke up with me about a 6 days ago. She told me she didn’t want anything to do with me and didnt’ want to speak to me. She took down everythingn in her room taht i gave her and put it all in box. She told me she wanted to forget about me. This hurt me so much, but i know she is more pain. Her brother caught her bawling while she was taking down everything. I know she cares too much to not want me in her life. I believe she is just hurt and just trying to run from the problem. The night i told her it wasn’t mine(after we broke up). She was pissed that i didn’t find out sooner. She decided she didn’t want to give me another chance. I know she loves me, and love her so much. I don’t want to just let her go. i know that she needs her space right now. She’s in very much pain, and feels as if all she has is one friend left. Unfortnately she won’t talk to me or contact me in any way. She can barely stand looking at me. But believe me when i say this girl loved me with all her heart. I know she doesn’t want to just give me up like that. She promised me forever as i did to her. I hurt her and i know that.I need some advice on what to do in order to win her back. I think my best approach would be to give her space for a few weeks and see if she contacts me at all. And if not, i would contact her to see how’s shes doing? I’m not sure what to do. What im most in awe about is the fact that she won’t talk to me or respond to my messages. I understand she is very hurt. I need some advice though. What should i do? Thank you very much. I know it was mistake and it is killing me. I love her more than anything with all my heart. She was my best friend. After this, i’ve even come to thinking suicidal, but i know that’s not right. I got to keep my chin up. I need advice. Thanks everyone!
March 11th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Hi David
I feel for your mate. Your girls sounds really hurt and yeah, you have the answer right there already – don’t try to contact her! Not at all. Not by text, not by phone, not by foot, not by car. She needs her space right now and you need to respect that seeing as it was you that did the cheating in the first place.
It sounds likes she really loved you so you might have a chance of getting her back – but only if you follow your head instead of following your heart. Give her the headspace she needs no matter how much you want to try and contact her right now. If you do – you will blow the whole thing.
If she does not contact you in a week or two, you could maybe text her in 4 weeks or so to ask how she is and if she might want to go have a coffee with you. If she still does not want to see you, give her more time. Only she knows how much time she needs. But you have to give her time to miss you without pissing her off by trying to contact her if she does not want contact with you just yet.
One more thing – I know you are hurting right now because she does not want to see you but for your own sake – don’t go and mess things up by sleeping with someone else just for revenge. You do that, and you can kiss this girl goodbye….
Wishing you luck!
Cassie
March 16th, 2009 at 4:22 am
hey
i cheated on my girlfriend and i regret everything about it. im trying to win her heart back but it just doesnt seem to work. we hangout damn near everyday and maybe this is pushing her away. the past couple days we have been making some real progress. like she told me she loved me yesterday. it made me so happy. then tonight, she tells me to give up and that she doesnt love me anymore. i dont blame her but she is just confused. i love her with all my heart and i dont wanna give up. what should i do?
May 12th, 2009 at 1:10 am
hey,
so four months in my realtionship i kissed this girl. half an hour the incident my girlfriend found out i denied it. so we are going on 1 year 5months and me and me girlfriend we’re fighting real bad, i leave outta town for a week the whole time im out my girl barley makes an effort to see how im doing. i get back into town . we fight and break up. she said it was the end for good and i finally told my girlfreind about the girl i kissed and now i wanna get back with her but she doesnt trust me anmore. we still talk and hang so i can get her to trust me i even send picture meassages when im not with her to show her what im doing. What else can i do to get her trust back and for her to gorget about the past?
June 11th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
So I was with this guy for 8 months, then I got a massage from another guy. My clothes were on and it wasn’t meant to be sexual, but my ex found it as cheating anyway and dumped me. I made the mistake of begging for forgiveness so many times after he said he needed space. Now I haven’t talked to him in days. I really miss him, but he already has another girlfriend. I think he still loves me. I don’t know what to do.
September 5th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
I’ve been dated this guy for 8months and he was the best bf a girl could ever have.
My mistake was that I’m moody and I take it on him all the time.. I dumped 7 times in 8months and he warned me that if I do it again he will not beg for me to get back with him and that he will move on.
One day he didnt talk to me for a whole day till the next day so I thought he was cheatin on me and that he was out with his friends, I got so paranoid that i dumped him AGAIN by text.. the next day he texted me sayin he just got out of the hospital and that his had enough of my moods and not trusting him and believing my mates that his cheatin.
The catch tho is that he lives 2 hours away from mine so I have reasons to doubt and I only see him once a month.. Now he said he needs time.. but he said he might not want to trust me anymore and might not want to get back with me anymore.. dot know wat to do.. I tried and begged him but his not replyin me back.. I regret everything so much…
Any advice plz?
September 13th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
My boyfriend and I just broke up earlier today. We have been together for almost 4 1/2 years now and I don’t know what to do. He found out that I lied to him about a guy that I had done stuff with 2 1/2 years ago. I didn’t cheat on my boyfriend, but still. He is extremely upset with me because of the fact that I can’t be completely honest with him. I know that I can be honest with him but I get scared sometimes of what he’ll say. He told me today that he loves me and wants to be with me but doesn’t think he can anymore. He claims that he has given me too many chances to be honest with him about the past. He did give me chances to tell him the truth about things and I choose not to say it.. so I know I’m really at fault. We have broken up before over worse stuff than this in the past and he eventually would come back. What should I do to show him that I’m sorry and that I am going to be a good girlfriend and not lie about important things like that anymore? I don’t want to seem clingy or needy. How can I get him to miss me and realize that it was a mistake and that it was the past and that that’s not the person I am anymore. I feel so guilty and alone. I really want to spend the rest of my life with him.
Please help.
October 9th, 2009 at 8:45 am
jo – just leave it for a while and learn not to be such a moody psycho.
October 28th, 2009 at 9:50 am
i am 13, i looooooved my boyfriend. more than anyody or person could imagine, one saturday night, i was with 2 of my friends and this other guy, he asked if we wanted too hookup, (makeout) soo, my friend said yeah, then they made me go first, while i had a boyfriend, so i did, then everybody found out, and he dumped me, dont underestimate this because im 13, but he was my everything. and lost him, i need heeeeeeeeeeelpp sooooo badly, please help mee. i need him back, i havent eaten for almost a week now
November 4th, 2009 at 6:26 am
Well…what happened with me is slightly different…i wasnt dating this guy…but we were sleeping together…he had a girlfriend at the time we started out, and i had a boyfriend…he lied about having a girlfriend and i had to find out from a few friends of his. anyway i broke up with my boyfriend for him and he told me that he needed time to resolve his issues with his gal before he could make anything official. during this period of time i messed up and slept with one of his friends. i wanted to tell him but i just ciouldnt bear the thought of losing him. plus my girls told me that seeing as me and him werent dating, i was under no obligation to have to confess to him anyway. then as usual…somebody found out what had happened and went to tell him. he immediately ended things. but then after twi days of us talkin, he decided to give me a second chance. he told me that in the 6 weeks we had been tigether, he had fallen for me. we made things official and i thought that everything would be better. then 4 days later, he totally turned on me. he threw me out coldly for no reasin and told me he wanted nothing to do with me. i asked him where all this was coming from. and he said it was just him deciding that he doesnt want me in his life. i asked him if he thought that it was fair of him to play with my emotions like that, and he said he didnt care and that i should deal with it. i really love him and i want to be with him so badly, but now hes even asked me to stop calling him. hes not a jerk and i know hes hurt…in honest opinion, do you think that thres any chance at all of us ever getting back together??
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Hi there,
My 2 years bf broke up with me last week and the reason he gave was that he couldn’t trust me anymore.
i cheated on him half a year ago and when he found out, i denied. Somehow after a month, i confronted him about this issue and he begged me to be with him back, and so i did.
Things were going pretty well until a month ago. He didn’t treat me as he used to be last time. Eventually i asked him what happened. He told me that he had a talk with the guy i cheated with, and he thinks that i did not tell him the whole truth about the incident, saying that i did not change after all.
We somehow drag this issue until last week due to exams and he decided to break up with me finally. He said that he could no longer put his trust on me, and he has got ZERO feelings on me anymore.
What can i do to show him that i really learn from the past ?
How can i get him back?
February 20th, 2011 at 12:20 pm
I need help. So me and my ex had been togethee for a long time. Well one of my old girlfriends from high school wanted to hang out. So we did. And when I was hangin out with her my girlfriend called over and over and I didnt pick up. Well my old girlfriend picked it and said he’s with me tonight. I got scared and paniced and didnt call my girlfriend for like 2 weeks. Why? Idk. yes i cheated. So I droped the old one after those 2 weeks and tried to work on thing with the love of my life. We wernt together though. But it was kinda like we were. Well during those 2 weeks before I lost my job. And couldnt pay rent. I had to go back home wich was in oklahoma. (i lived in dallas) so the love of my life was saying (even though I cheated on her) to not find another girl and come baxk to her when I could. So I moved to okc and we still talked. we evem hooked up again. But things started to fade. And she started to get very angry. I paniced again. And she wouldnt talj to me. but shed go on these like 2 weeks were she wouldnt then would. And shed text me then. so now she wont talk to me at all. Can you help? Please?
May 13th, 2011 at 8:48 pm
Where should I begin. …Ok yes I cheated on my girlfriend. But I cheated on her numorous times. We have been together for 6 YYEARS! from senior year in high school of 05′ until now. Yes she took me back plenty of times but the problem is now I have changed and was faithful for the last 2 years of the relationship. The crazy thing is I didn’t cheat this time I gave my roommate and his girl a ride to the train station but some girl that knows my ex told her some girl got into my car when it didn’t happen that way so she left for good in March 2011 and all I didn’t so far is the no contact rule Please help me out!
October 20th, 2011 at 5:39 am
Hey,i had a fling wit my gurlfrnds elder sista. Its bin 3months nw.Yet she doesnt want us back 2geda,she wants us to b frndz though.Pls wat do i do?
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