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Marriage Counceling Could Save Your Marriage

By admin | Sunday, October 5th, 2008 | Relationship Tips

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Using a marriage counselor as a mediator is not always the best solution. The problem with a mediator is that usually he or she is used as a venting tool. People just want someone to talk to, to tell their side of the story, without any ambition to fix the problems that exist. However, if the mediator is lucky, they may come to an equitable solution by carefully listening to the two parties involved and potentially save the marriage from destruction.

Overall, most problems in a marriage can be straightened out as long as both parties are acting like adults and are capable of listening to each other’s problems. Unfortunately, this is not usually what happens and that is why marriage counselors are in such demand today.

By following the two steps of learning to talk to each other, and then finding an intermediary person to talk to, most marriages have a chance of being saved. The ability to communicate is not the same as wanting to communicate with the other person and that is why most marriages fail, even if they do seek marriage counseling.

As bold as this may sound, fixing your marriage is actually a very simple process. Although each person’s situation and the depth of their problems can only be estimated, the root of all problems in marriage has to do with only two things. First, both parties are guilty of not listening to the other. Second, and outside sources necessary to ensure that a solution has any hope of being found. By following these two steps, with only the aforementioned variables, marriage success may be in your future if yours is in trouble now.

I don’t care if you are having money problems, difficulty communicating about your love life, your children, or the color of your home, the first problem that all couples need to address is their inability to listen to one another. One person may be a better listener then the other, but there has to be someone, or both people, that is not a good listener and once things only one way: their way. That is why marriage counseling is such a booming business today.

Is it easier if there is one non-listener or two people that choose not to communicate? The answer to that is twofold. If there is only one person that is not trying to fix the relationship, then it is infinitely more difficult on the person who is trying because they actually care about that other person and want the relationship to work. The other person who is not listening simply once things their way and chooses to be little or ignore problems that they may be causing in a relationship where as the other person may fully admit almost every problem they have in order to make the relationship work.

If there are two people that are not listening to each other, this is a bit more cut and dry. If neither one wants to listen to the other, then their choices are very clear. They should go their separate ways, or they should seek a third party counselor so that they may talk to this person and this person will act as a mediator between the two of them and perhaps come to an equitable solution.

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